


Amity's Journal

by princesspinny



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Diary/Journal, F/F, Inspired by The Owl House (Cartoon), Lumity Week 2020 (The Owl House), Post-Grom (The Owl House), The Owl House - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:28:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25974436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesspinny/pseuds/princesspinny
Summary: This is Amity's journal, so if you are not Amity please don't read this unless I gave you permission. I wrote down all my most deep secrets and feelings here.This warning is for you Edric and Emira. Stop reading my stuff, this is PRIVATE. Thank you.
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 8
Kudos: 163





	1. August 18th

_**August 18th, 2020** _

_Hey Journal, it's me again._

_Amity, not the twins. I'm sorry for the mess they made, I'm still trying to fix the doodled pages and erase Edric's stupid handwriting. I hate how they never stop doing this even tho I have asked them to. They never listen to me anyway, maybe it's due to me being the youngest sibling, I don't know. I probably should be used to it by now since they've been annoying me for years, but I just hate it. I wish they could respect my privacy sometimes. That's why I'm so_ _gratefull I paid attention to those illusion classes during my first year at Hexside or else I wouldn't be able to hide all my secrets in you. Emira and Edric only read what I write for them. All these dumb 'secrets" and "insecurities" I made up so they wouldn't find out what really goes on inside my head. If they did, it would be my ruin, so thank you for keeping everything so well hidden._

_Mom and Dad are locked in their office again (probably working on something for the Emperor, I don't really care) which I don't complain since my day's much better when I don't have to see them. They only come out for dinner and when they have to scold me or something, which is even worse. They never yell, they make me feel awful by using their calm voice as if I was just a five year old all over again and everything I did was stupid and wrong. They even picked every single friend I had since... Willow. Gosh... I missed Willow. She was my safe spot. I could be myself around her and she taugh me how to be a better person and have fun, but of course, my parents took that away from me. They take everything that could make me a bit happy and rip it all off. I didn't have a choice. "We can't have our daughter hanging out with a half-a-witch" they said at my birthday party once, "you have to tell her to leave". I tried to argue with them, but I was just a scared child. I didn't want my best friend to be hurt, so I hurt her instead. Better me than my parents. I started hanging out with Boscha and her gang. I had to deal with them for so long, I was getting so tired of the person I became with them. Everytime I was with them I felt like I was outside my body watching someone else..... until **she** showed up._

_Luz the Human. That's how everyone calls her. I thought she was some sort of crazy experiment from Willow, but she was just... a girl. Actually, she is more than I will ever be to be honest. I started to get so angry and frustrated around her at first. I thought it was just my competitive side speaking, but it started to get worse. Everytime I saw her I wanted to jump at her, rip that cute smile off her face. How could she be so happy when I was over here agonizing over her? That's when I realized I didn't hate her. It was quite the oposite and I was doomed for that._

_I have.... feelings for a **human.** And not any human, Eda the Owl Lady's human. This is my most important secret so please, please, don't let this fall into Edric and Emira's hands. If anyone find out about it .... If my parents find out about it....I don't even want to imagine what they could do. They work for the Emperor who is hunting Eda like a fox. This situation only gets even worse everytime I try to analize it. And it's not like Luz would reciprocate my feelings anyway. She's busy trying to learn magic and make new friends. Everything here is completely new to her, but she is the only new thing to me. She and those stupid feelings I get when I see her. I wish they could just go away. Everything would be so easy if I was like Boscha. My parents would love me, I wouldn't feel this horrible all the time and the most important thing... I wouldn't have to deal with Luz. Okay, I take it back. I don't wanna be like Boscha. I wouldn't want to hurt Luz or Willow or the other little guy they hang out with. They are my only real friends now... I guess. So, I guess I'll have to deal with it. _

_Anyway, I tried to invite Luz to Grom last week. I really did, I wrote a note and everything (I had to hide in the library so my siblings wouldn't find me), but I couldn't find the guts to give it to her or to maybe casually ask her "hey Luz do you, I don't know, wanna go to Grom? Like together?". She would probably think I was inviting her as a friend, but at least I wouldn't die wondering what could have happened. And no, I'm not being negative about it. She said it herself when she saw my worst fear at Grom: "that's what friends do". My heart ache that night. We had a killer dance to defeat Grom and in that moment, during the few minutes she held me and looked right into my eyes and I felt the stupid feelings bursting into my chest, I knew that I was in love with Luz Noceda, the human._

_LOVE, can you believe it? I couldn't. I tried so hard to push those feelings away that I ended up in LOVE. My parents will definetely kill me if they find out (what I really hope they don't). I feel even more frustrated now. It was all good before, now I can't even form a sentence around Luz. I think Willow knows something. She looks at me with that suspicious look and I just try to look away, but I think that my face turning red and all the stutter I do everytime I talk to Luz gives it all away. I have to talk to her about it someday. Or maybe not. We don't need to talk about it. I'll just... pretend nothing is happening. I have to forget Luz and it's hard, she is so fearless and cute, it just makes me want to be around her even more. Gosh, even writing about it makes my face warm. Well, we'll see where this goes. All I know is that I'll always protect her (specially from my parents) no matter what._

_Thanks for listening (or reading haha),_

_Amity Blight._


	2. September 3rd

**_03/09/2020_ **

_Hello Journal, it_ _’s me again (Amity)._

_T_ _oday was a rough day. I couldn’t go on the field trip to the Emperor’s Castle with everyone else because of my stupid broken ankle, so I stayed home and watched some silly cartoon on my crystal ball to try get distracted a little. It didn't work. Thankfully though my siblings weren't home so I had a peacefully morning for once. I know I told you about the incident at the grudgby match last week where I got hurt and made a fool of myself in front of Luz again (this time it was even worse), but I was in such a hurry to write everything down before Emira and Edric could caught me that I didn’t tell you **everything.**_

_For a start, you know I promised myself I would never ever play grudgby again after... that, but I couldn't bare to think about Boscha using Luz to practice her aim (and of course keep messing with Willow), so I volunteered to be in Luz' team and play against Boscha. I know, I know, kinda riscky, but I played safe. Well, we didn't win, if that's what you're wondering, due to some stupid game rule that I'm too annoyed to explain, it w_ _as super unfair, but the match was fun. Was too hard to stop being distracted by Luz running beside me all the time, but I made it out alive (well sort of...). I broke my ankle in the end and when Luz approached me, all worried about my well being ( ~~I swear it was the cutest thing)~~ my brain went into stupid mode and I said "who is Amity?"_

_CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? WHO IS AMITY? SERIOUSLY? I said act dumb, but not THAT dumb. That's what happens to me every time Luz is around. My brain turns into pudding. I suddenly forget all the words I need to form a real sentence. It's so frustrating. She must think I'm so stupid. Ugh. Anyway, she CARRIED me, yes in her arms, me, Amity Blight in Luz Noceda's arms, bridal style, yes, all the way to the nurses office, yes I was freaking out inside. I think I even held my breath because she asked me if it was hurting too bad and told me to take deep breaths which was kind of hard knowing I was INCHES away from her neck and even tho we were running like crazy a few minutes ago she still smelled super good. Okay now I sound like a super freak. Sorry._

_I got a cast on and my ankle is better now, but I have to rest for a while. I hate it. I wanted to be outside with Luz, Willow and Gus (finally got his name right, sorry little dude), I'm sure this field trip would be so much fun with them. Instead I'm stuck in my bed with nothing to do but my late homework. Even staring at my books pisses me off lately. It's annoying to be so pressured by my parents about grades when so much is happening in the Isles. I haven't talked to them in a while but it's like they live in my mind rent free, telling me what to do and lecturing me every time I think about doing something they wouldn't approve.... like dating a human girl for example. Sometimes I wonder if they casted a spell on me or something, but I think even they wouldn't go that far...._

_I tried to do something fun to pass the time, but all I could think about was writing some thoughts down. Maybe I'll try and read a book later or doodle something. I don't know, I can't really concentrate in anything but, you know, her. It might sound cheesy, but I never felt like this before. I think she is the first person I ever liked this much. No, I'm pretty sure she is. I was never dumb Amity around anyone else before. I never actually cared enought to be, but now I do. Funny, right? Everything is so new to me, all these new feelings are so strong and so addictive. Even tho I make a fool of myself most of the time, I wanna be around her even more. I wanna talk to her about Azura, spells or even some silly earth thing. I could listen to her for hours and hours and never get tired of her. I wanna hold her hand in a non-platonic way and just casually hug her while we are outside talking to our friends or just watching King fighting some kids in the playground. I wanna be with her, but there is so many things between us that I might as well just keep these thoughts here. That's why I write so much. I can't tell Luz because the Titans knows if she likes me back or if she even likes girls. She probably only sees me as a friend which is fine by now, it's better than nothing and I like having her as a friend though, Then, there is also the issue with my parents, they wouldn't approve any of this and I'm afraid of what they might do to stop it, so why even start, right?_

_I promised myself I would protect Luz and anyone I love, specially from my parents, even if that means never confessing my feelings and watching my heart break a little each time she calls me "friend". As long as she is safe and happy I'm okay. I will be. I just need to repeat a lie until it comes true._

_Sorry for the tear and thanks for being here,_

_Amity Blight._


End file.
